1. Real golfers go to work to relax.

2. I’d rather play golf and break even than work hard and come out ahead.

3. Follow-through: The part of the swing that takes place after the ball has been
hit, but before the club had been thrown.

4. Keep your eye on the club. Nothing is more embarrassing than to throw a club
and then have to ask someone where it went.

5. Have you noticed what golf spells backwards?

6. Golf was originally restricted to the wealthy protestants. Now it’s open to
anybody who owns hideous clothing.

7. If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

8. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner and you can keep the fresh
air and partner.

9. Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

10. I play golf in the low eighties; if it’s any hotter than that I won’t play.

11. Practice makes perfect. WRONG. It merely consolidates imperfection.

12. Golf has probably kept more people sane than psychiatrists have.

13. The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people
who gave us bagpipes and called it music.

14. The uglier a man’s legs are the better he plays golf.

15. My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf to counter the feelings of euphoria
I feel from time to time.

16. Golf is a lot of walking broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

17. First thought after making a hole-in-one..... “Good, I don’t have to putt”.

18. Half of golf is fun: the other half is putting.

19. I don’t enjoy playing video golf because there’s nothing to throw.

20. Real golfers never hit a cheat with the driver; the sand wedge is far more effective.